A new research study of 2,000 British adults by Duolingo, the world’s number one language app, has revealed that one in three of us threw in the towel on their New Year’s Resolutions by the 10th of January 2022 – just ten days after setting commitments like hitting the gym, going vegan, or completing Dry January. A further 62% gave up by the end of the month.
If you are starting to feel like quitting or have already quit your resolutions it might be an idea to sit down quietly and give yourself some space and time to think about why you wanted to achieve those specific goals and why your motivation has declined.
Avoidance goals vs Approach Goals
One reason you might be finding it hard to stay motivated is if you have set an avoidance goal. Examples of avoidance goals are stopping doing something like drinking, buying too many clothes and not using social media for as long each day. Research has shown that these types of goals are more difficult to stick to than “approach goals” which are goals about starting to do something. Examples of approach goals are to start going to the gym, start doing the Couch to 5k programme or eat more healthily. The good news is that you can rework avoidance goals into approach goals to see if that helps you to continue with them for longer. For example, instead of thinking about stopping drinking you could think about doing a new hobby in the evenings when you are most likely to be tempted to drink, or you could reframe it as committing yourself to better skin and sleep. Perhaps the goal of stopping buying so many new clothes could be refashioned as saving £X per month to spend on a treat and pledging to reading a book for a certain number of minutes per day could replace reducing the minutes spent on social media. Making a fun, positive goal to look forward to rather than a goal which makes you feel as if you are missing out or have a lack of something is much more likely to keep you motivated.
Goals are too big
Another reason we drop our resolutions is that the goal is too big and daunting. If you drink alcohol every day then giving it up entirely for January might be very challenging. Perhaps cutting down to or by 1 drink per day may be more achievable or doing a 5:2 approach where you can drink for 5 days and have 2 without a drink. At some point it can be switched around to 2 days drinking and 5 days off, or perhaps just switch to 4:3 and then 3:4 before you achieve 2:5. When you reach only drinking for 2 days a week, going dry for a whole month may seem possible. If you do very little exercise, then committing to go to the gym several times a week is a huge task. It may help your motivation to just get up 15 minutes earlier per day to go for a walk or do a 10-15 minute workout video.
Too many changes all at the same time
Yet another reason that we do not stick with our resolutions is setting ourselves too many goals at the same time. Focussing on one new behaviour at a time will help increase the success of forming a new, healthy habit. Once this new routine is firmly established then you can think about expanding it to a longer time period or doing it more frequently, in the case of exercise, and/or introducing another of your resolutions. They don’t all have to start on January 1st!
I love this Chinese proverb that I heard for the first time recently. "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now." Even if we give up on some or all of our resolutions at some point in the year, it does not mean that we need to wait until next year to try again. We can try again today.
Blocks and Fears
If you really want to achieve a particular goal but have a block or fear to overcome to get there, then remember that tapping can help you to dissolve your fears and resistance to the changes that you want to implement, making it a much smoother and easier journey.
If you would like some help from me in using tapping to achieve your goals then please contact me to book an appointment.
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